By MM
Once upon a time there was a carrier pigeon who was so bad at flying that she couldn’t even fly to the cake cooling near the kitchen door. Because she flew so badly, she hadn’t seen many far off parts of the world like famous Mount Olympus in Greece. She had only seen the cake and the door and the backyard, and had never been on adventures before. When other birds came to visit the yard, she didn’t have any exciting stories to tell them. It made her sad.
One day Pigeon was talking to her friend Raven about how boring life was in the backyard.
“I know!” Raven said, “Let’s fly to Mount Olympus and steal one of Zeus’ lightning bolts. Then we can have olives for lunch and fly home again in time for my favorite tv show.”
Pigeon said, “Well. Olives are fine, but I love pastries. Can we please have lunch in Paris instead?”
Raven agreed, “Zeus can’t see us coming when we’re stealing his lightning bolts. I’ll be ready to go in stealth mode after we go to Paris.”
So away they went to Paris to have French bread crumbs for lunch. (And to have a bird bath). In Paris, a bat named Frenchie was their waiter. He looked at Raven and said, “Bonjour Mes Ami. Welcome to Paris. What can I get you to make your visit deliciously good?”
Raven laughed and fluffed her shiny feathers. “Well… we want invisibility crumbs,” said Raven.
“So we can steal Zeus’ lightning bolts,” whispered Pigeon.
Frenchie was impressed, “wow, you must have gone on many great quests to dare steal Zeus’ thunder. So you want magic? You must talk to the great owl Blue Moon, who lives at the top of the church tower of Notre Dame.”
So away they flew.
The church tower was dark and spooky. There was a big spider web across the door. The air inside the tower smelled like rotten eggs. Rats, mice, spiders and other creepy-crawlies skittered in the shadows. Raven felt her way through the darkness. The cars and boats down below with Frenchie seemed to belong to a different world.
“Hello?” said Raven.
Silence.
“Blue Moon?” asked Pigeon, “Frenchie sent us. We need your help with our adventure.”
There was a swishing and, “Hey mon, how ‘ya ‘doin mon,” said a voice.
Blue Moon came out of the darkness. He was a white owl and he was wearing glasses. Not reading glasses. Big. Dark. Sunglasses.
“Magic? You come to the right place. Old Blue Moon can do that for ‘ya, no problem-o. So tell me, cool cats, what kind of magic are you in the market for today?”
“Uh, we’re not cats,” said Pigeon, “you should really take those glasses off.”
“Shhh” Raven cawed, “he doesn’t literally mean cats. You really haven’t ever been out of the yard, have you?”
“These will do the trick, my feathered friends,” said Blue Moon.
He pulled two crumbs out and handed one to Raven and one to Pigeon.
“Yuck-o” said Pigeon.
Blue Moon pushed his sunglasses up his beak and ruffled his feathers, “Magic is not for picky eaters.”
Pigeon and Raven shifted from one clawed foot to the other. Then held wings, opened their beaks and—pop—in a blink, Blue Moon was the only bird visible in the tower.
“Coolio” Raven said, “can we take the jar?”
“Okey-Dokey” Moon said.
Equipped with Moon Magic, Pigeon and Raven flew southeast across France and Italy until they came to Mount Olympus, home of Zeus.
“Okey, Pigeon. We have to—”
“Uh, Raven?” Pigeon interrupted, “there are dogs.”
“Silly bird,” laughed Raven, “they can’t see us. Watch this.”
Raven dived toward the earth, straight for the dog’s head. Or rather, heads. For this was Cerberus, the three-headed watchdog of the underworld—taking a little siesta after lunch.
Peck! Peck! Peck!
Raven pecked each of Cerberus’ heads and flew back up to Pigeon. Cerberus woke up, all of his heads looked around. One of his heads looked at Raven and Pigeon. It snarled, and the other two heads looked, too.
“Oh, they can’t see us,” said Raven.
We’re dead dog meat,” Pigeon answered.
There behind the dog was another dog, bigger than Cerberus.
“He can’t see us either,” said Raven, “stay cool.”
“He can see us, ” said Pigeon.
“No he ca—” Raven started to say, but “He CAN see us!” Pigeon squawked.
The elephant sized dog behind Cerberus was sniffing and staring right at them. Raven flew as fast as she could go. Pigeon followed, and almost flew in to a tree as they went. The giant dog and Cerberus chased after them.
“Let’s get out of here and go up to Mount Olympus,” cried Raven.
Before them was Mount Olympus. It was huge. The mountain home of the gods rose in the air, and the peak was lost in thick clouds.
“Uhhhh…” said Pigeon, looking up at the tall mountain,”Uh… maybe we should just forget about lightning bolts and head to the olive bar.
After awhile, Cerberus got bored chasing the birds, and plunked down under a tree to resume his siesta. But the elephant sized dog barked and whined, then he jumped up in the air and landed right in front of Raven and Pigeon.
“Blue Moon really should have told us what a short time the invisibility crumbs last,” mourned Pigeon.
“Goodbye friend, nice knowing you,” answered Raven.
Then, a miracle happened. The elephant sized dog licked Pigeon on the beak and wagged his tail.
“Phew, that was close,” said Raven.
“Wow,” said Pigeon.
“Wow is right, ” said Raven, “we should name him. Let’s call him snoogie.”
“Snoogie?” asked Pigeon.
“No, you’re right. Not Snoogie. Snoogie Boo-boo,” answered Raven.
“Are you crazy?” said Pigeon, “let’s call her Pumpkin.”
The dog wagged her giant tale. It made the wind blow like a hurricane was coming.
“Easy Pumpkin!” the birds squawked and landed on his back.
“Pumpkin, take us up Mount Olympus!”
The dog barked like thunder hitting a tree and galloped up the stairs. They rose higher and higher. The air grew colder. Snowflakes drifted down. Then, in the distance, they saw on the highest peak a city built of white marble. The home of the gods.
“Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, Olympus!” stammered Pigeon.
The dog came to a stop. This was as far as he would go. If Pigeon and Raven wanted to steal Zeus’ thunder, they were now on their own.
They flapped silently to a window, and looked in. Raven looked at the jar labeled “invisibility” that she’d brought from Blue Moon. Raven ate one. Then Pigeon.
“On the count of three. One. Two. Three.”
Poof. They were gone.
“Now we have to move quickly,” said Pigeon, “we know from experience we won’t be invisible long.”
Raven opened the window, and Pigeon flew in.
“What are you doing!” screamed Raven in alarm, before she could catch herself.
“Cookies!” answered Pigeon.
Raven flew in, past Pigeon, and ate them all in one bite.
“What are you—?” asked Pigeon.
“This is no time to be distracted by cookies,” Raven scolded, wiping away a few crumbs, “I ate those for your own good.”
The birds looked around. They were in a large hall with high ceilings and marble floors.
“Wow,” said Raven.
Then, they flew down the hall. In a big room there was a circle with lots of thrones. They were all empty, except Zeus’s.
Zeus’s head was titled back and his feet were propped up on the hearth that held the sacred flame. He was snoring.
“Shh… we have to be really quiet,” whispered Raven.
Next to Zeus was a bucket of lightning bolts. But Zeus was holding the bucket in one hand and his teddy bear in the other.
“Tiptoe,” said Raven.
Pigeon and Raven tiptoed over.
“I have a plan. Pigeon, you grab the lightning bolt and we fly away. Ok?” Raven asked.
“Why me!” squeaked Pigeon.
“Just do it!” said Raven.
Pigeon reached in to the bucket and slowly, carefully, pulled out a bolt. Zeus yawned and mumbled in his slip.
“Pigeon, faster,” said Raven.
Pigeon tucked the bolt under his wing and was about to fly away when he noticed that the teddy bear’s eyes were open—and looking at him.
“Not bad invisibility crumbs again,” she complained.
Zeus yawned again, and then: “Who dares take my bolts he bellowed!”
“ahhhhhh!” screamed Pigeon.
Raven grabbed the teddy bear and Pigeon and flew as fast as she could go. Down the mountain. Through the clouds. Past Athens. Across France. The pair of friends flew faster than any birds had flown before, all the way home, safe to their own backyard.
“Oh, said Pigeon, “I really wanted some olives for lunch.”
Pigeon took Raven in to the house and gave her some cake and water. Then, lightning flashed. Black clouds rolled over the sun.
“We’re in mucho trouble-o,” said Pigeon.
“Well what do you expect if steal from Zeus!” said the teddy bear.
Pigeon and Raven looked at the little stuffed creature in surprise. Everything back at Olympus had happened so fast, that they’d not really thought about what they were doing before taking him.
Pigeon grabbed the teddy bear and flew outside, “oh mucho crazy-o Lord-of-the-Universe, here’s your teddy bear.”
The rain stopped. They sky brightened. A giant head appeared through the clouds.
“Teddy,” the god cooed, “come to papa.”
The teddy bear flew up in to Zeus’ hand.
“Here, have this.”
A bag of bird food, cheese and even olives flew down.
“Thanks,” said Pigeon.
Raven came out as they waved their goodbyes.
“Wow,” said Raven.
“I have a big story to tell my friends,” giggled Pigeon, “and if they don’t believe me, I’ll zap them with my lightning bolt.”
“Pigeon!” said Raven, “don’t let all this new power go to your head. Stay a nice, gentle, ordinary bird.”
“But can’t I just zap them a little,” asked Pigeon.
“Ok. Just a little zap,” agreed Raven.
“Have some olives,” said Pigeon.
And so they did.
The End
About the Author: MM was Rachel’s student for many years. She wrote this story in 2011!
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