Well Said Classifieds

Leonardo Da Vinci

I am a genius for hire. I can travel to you with my household. We require a mansion for free, fresh meat, dairy, fruits and vegetables three times a day, and fine French bread baked fresh. No firm deadlines, no nagging, no pressure, infinite patience and trust.

PAINTING

10 years and still not done!

SCULPTURE

Not a single one worked!

PARTY ENTERTAINMENT

To waste your time!

MILITARY DEFENSE IDEAS

That never work!

INVENTIONS OF ALL KINDS

That ended in disaster!

PROCRASTINATION EXPERT

Details to be filled in at a later date…

FASHION ADVICE

Get help choosing the latest hat or most fashionable pants from a fashionista.

DREAMING FOR HIRE BY THE HOUR

Dream with me until your brain hurts…

DISSECTIONS

Are you a doctor that’s too lazy to do dissections yourself? I’ve done it for you!

DISTRACTIONS

Sorry, I’m going to dinner now. 

TESTIMONIALS FROM SATISFIED CLIENTS

Highly distracted. Often does nothing.  Our mural The Last Supper cracked before it was finished.

The Monks

Doesn’t read the instructions carefully. Melted mural off our wall and left town.

The Other Monks

Hired Leonardo da Vinci to create the world’s biggest horse sculpture for me…  unfortunately needed bronze for swords instead. The clay model is pretty great, thought.

Duke of Sforza

FEES FOR SERVICES:

• PAINTING: more money than an entire stack of gold can contain
• PROCRASTINATING: we will figure out the charges later
• DREAMING: No charge (I dream of so much stuff I forget about buying food)
• INVENTING: $10,000 per useless invention. But it’s still fun!