by Tsunami Glacier
The Time Before
Long ago in ancient times, the god Hephestus was blacksmith of the gods. He was the god of craft, helping gods and mortals make strong and beautiful things from metal. Hephaestus was the son of Hera, but he was born misshapen, with a bad foot and a lumpy face. Because of this he was thrown off Olympus. The water nymphs raised him, and he taught himself blacksmithing. Hephestus had a complicated personality. He was sometimes in a good mood, but other times not. He took good care of the things he made, ensuring they were basically perfect. Hephaestus took great pride in his work.
Hepheastus, being fire resistant, lived in a volcano. One day the gods needed something built, but there wasn’t a blacksmith god on Olympus. Someone remembered that a misshapen and exiled god was living in a volcano making automatons and other amazing things. Wanting his skill, Hepheastus was returned to Olympus, where he made all the weapons and many other things for the gods.
Meanwhile, another goddess was being born. Aphrodite emerged from the sea on a beautiful shell. She was born from seafoam that had been cut from Uranus, god of the sky. Aphrodite was a beautiful and powerful goddess of love and beauty with golden jewelry and flowing robes. Heaphestus became the partner of Aphrodite, and their children had the power to charm people when they spoke.
But, there is another god in our story. Ares. God of war. Causer of trouble. Very annoying. Basically: a pain in the butt. Ares was a pompous God who believed he could win everything. Perhaps this isn’t surprising for the god of war, but Ares was unloved for his aggressiveness and bad temper.
Yellowstone
Heaphestus and Aphrodite had traveled to Yellowstone. This magical land atop an underground volcano was perfect for Heaphestus to set up his forge and workshop. Ares had requested a weapon made out of material only Yellowstone would have. Ares said, “I require an ax, a sword, a shield, and of course armor, made from the Grand Prismatic Spring.” When Ares gave an order, it was followed. Heaphestus and Aphrodite had made their way to Yellowstone and set-up the forge by the spring. The spring looked like a reverse rainbow, yet it smelled horrible. Heaphestus did not mind this, but Aphrodite hated it. “It smells like rotten eggs,” she complained. But the water from the spring held an extra sharpness spell, and any metal heated within it would be given not only great strength but would also come to life with it’s own pop personality.
Being gods, they were terrible at keeping track of time. You could tell a god “let’s have lunch tomorrow at noon,” and they might arrive a million years later at twelve o’clock, ready for lunch. Though the season of mortals was winter, Heaphestus and Aphrodite weren’t aware of the weather as the god of blacksmithing worked day after day to make the weapons.
One day the weapon was finished and it was alive. Hephestus was able to shut the sword up because it was singing pop songs. Plus it was asking to date some other swords! When it was shut up they returned to his volcano and gave the sword to Ares.
Hephaestus went off to work on attomatons, and it was a day or so later when he returned—and Aphrodite was asleep. So, he returned to his volcano. Waiting for him was Helios, and he had something to say about Aphrodite and Ares:
Helios saw Ares and Aphrodite together! As Helios was talking, he was building a net because of what he saw. He was talking about how he saw Aphrodite and Ares talking and doing what we will call “inappropriate love.”
That night he told Aphrodite that he was spending the night fixing automatons because they were malfunctioning, but he went to set up the net and cameras when Aphrodite was gone doing godly stuff. He saw Ares come in and they went in the bed (which was under the net) and he dropped the net and then invited all of the Olympians to his house! They all saw the two in the bed, stuck. And so it starts.
After that Heaphestus wanted a divorce, but Hera would not allow it. So he built 12 thrones for the gods, and one was for Hera. He made so many trinkets for Hera, too. When Hera got in her throne, it bound her hands and feet. To release her, Hera had to agree to the divorce. She did agree after being turned upside down.
So, in the end the two love birds got together and Hephestus had a life he loved in a volcano building things.
The end
Studio Phillips 