By Tsunami Glacier

Heggie: why are you multicolored rainbow crazy?

Rainbow Crazy: Well, that’s a very embarrassing story I never tell anyone unless they grant me three wishes Heggie.

Heggie: Well “anyone” implies that I am human, and I am a hedgehog so ha!

Rainbow Crazy: Yes, that’s exactly my point! You are a hedgehog! I’ve seen Aladdin where the magical hedgehog comes out of the lamp and grants three wishes. My first wish is for rainbow tacos. I hear they are missing.

Heggie: It was a monkey, not a hedgehog, and there is a store for rainbow tacos down the road, but, you need to give the whole world to get one unless you know the owner, which I do. Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

 Rainbow Crazy: A monkey? Are you sure? Well, I guess you would know. Giving the entire world for some tacos seems pretty expensive. Are they organic?

Heggie: Yes a monkey, and I am sure and I am magical. I look like a porcupine and can hide better than you because you are so colorful you will be found so fast, while it takes them longer to find me. And they are organic, see how I am not fat. 

 Rainbow Crazy: I know! It’s so embarrassing being rainbow colored? I don’t blend in at all? Forget trying to hide behind a tree or in a bush. If I want to hide, I have to go somewhere colorful like Las Vegas! Well, not to be rude, but you are a little…plump?

Heggie: Are you serious? You are like 25 times as big as me, so shush. And you would still stand out because you are wild and I am tame… so who would want you? Maybe a kid, but they will give you up when they get into plain clothes, and want me. 

 Rainbow Crazy: It’s true, I am an outcast. I’m a wild rainbow colored hedgehog that doesn’t fit in with animals or people. Oh! It’s so sad? 

Heggie: Eh not really sad, but I at least fit in and have enough friends to talk to……. How many do you have by the way? 

 Rainbow Crazy: You are my only friend. You are going to help me. Then we will get tacos.

Heggie: never in a million year will I be a friend to a rainbow hedgehog or buy them tacos. 

 Rainbow Crazy: You are going to help me get rid of my rainbow. I have a plan. Don’t be mean!

Heggie: nope!!!!!!! Not happening!!

Rainbow Crazy: Well, I can see that appealing to your good nature didn’t work because you are a rascal! So how about this: if you help me, I will tell you the story of how I came to be under this rainbow curse. That way, you can make sure it never happens to you.

Heggie: YOU WITCH! I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING ODD ABOUT YOU!!!!!

 Rainbow Crazy: haw haw, my secret is out! I AM a witch! And I can turn you into a newt!

Heggie: You are too weak, to do that all you could was turn a rock into sand.  And, that would take you thousands of millions of years because you faked it and had the earth do it for you. 

 Rainbow Crazy: Beware my magic curse: newtey-make, rainbow-shake, throw this hedgehog into that lake! Hahaha! That will teach you.

Heggie: I am still here. Nothing happened, you threw a rock in the lake see what I told you. YOU ARE TOO WEAK!!

Rainbow Crazy: Ok! Fine! I’m a witchy rainbow hedgehog with weak powers! But why are you so grumpy? I apologize for calling you plump? Now will you please help me, it will only take one night of the full moon. It will be fun!

Heggie: YOU ARE A WEREHEDGEHOG! YOU WILL KILL ME BUT ALL YOU WOULD DO IS SKIN MY KNEE SINCE YOU ARE WEAK.  

Rainbow Crazy:  Ok! I admit it! I’m evil. Evil! Evil I tell you! Evil through and through! I’m an evil hedgehog in a rainbow hedgehog body! It’s terrible! And yes! Yes! I want to gobble you all up! And as soon as the moon is full and the jasmine blooms, I will. 

Heggie: Evil, really I think that with your luck you would barely make it to mean without help. 

Rainbow Crazy: No! I will not accept your rude opinions anymore! If you don’t think I’m nice that’s ok. If you won’t be my friend I’m sad, but I can live with it. But you can not say that I’m not evil! That’s going too far. I am evil! And look, the moon is full tomorrow night and you shall see!

Heggie: am I making you sad? 

This is what I call attitude. And you have none. I can make you feel anything I want with words and not feel yours affecting me because I have some sas. 

Rainbow Crazy: Well I think you’re the worst of us two. Evil is my nature and I’m just embracing it but you could be nice but aren’t because of this “sas” thing. 

Heggie: please the worst . I may not be evil but you are not and really sas is personality and I see none in you. No wonder you have no friends. 

R. C.:I don’t get it. I try to be sassy. Isn’t threatening to eat people pretty sassy?

Heggie: no it is not at all have you seen persassy memes yet. Disgrace. 

See it is the best thing  for hedgehogs you are so missing out por thing but you wont understand because you have no sas. 

Rainbow Crazy. I don’t want to explain the whole story, but when I was transformed into a rainbow hedgehog, I was granted three orders from Amazon by the fairy that transformed me. I’ll just use one of my orders to buy this sassy online, it will be here in two days!

Heggie: how do you not know sas? It is awesome, have you ever seen any questions and answers the seven plus Nico and Will:

nHow have you not seen this? It is exemplary, and has a lot of good people fight over nothing… while the most powerful have the least useful in fighting, but the best strategist and smartest person ever and can keep the entire crew of argo 2 (their ship) together in 2 words “stop fighting.” And they all listen ,even Percy and Jason, with no help from Piper who can charmspeak. 

R. C.: So you don’t have to buy sass? You just sass sass? Ok, I got this: Rainbow Crazy is so sassy she is gassy. You’re so un-sassy it’s like a cold cup of coffee.

Hegie: Sass is something you have in your blood, it is not given when bought and that is lame compared to what the most sassy people can do. Sas is not just words, it is looks and tone which I doubt you can pull off you unsassy disgrace. 

R.C.: I’m so sassy when the moon is up I’ll eat you for ‘sup! Heh! Heh! Heh!

Heggie: hahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The moon is nothing, it won’t help you I am so strong with sass you can’t even beat me in a flyting because you don’t know my weakness and I know yours. 

R.C.: Bring it on!

Heggie: Really you are risking everything to become one inch in size. I doubt you can beat me. 

R.C: Let the Flighting begin: I kinda hate your guts, you make me so insanely nuts! Roar!

Heggie: You have no friends and I have like way more than you, because yours is 0. One of the best things about them, they back you up but I guess you are not able to be backed up because they just turn them against you. See you wanted me to become your friend, but you couldn’t even try your hardest. You let your instincts take over and say the truth when all you wanted to do is lie. 

R.C.: Friends are lame. Friends are dumb. Friends are silly. Friends are for friendly people. I’m not friendly. I’m mean! I’m ferocious! The truth is: I’m craa-aa-a-zy!!!

Heggie: Friends aren’t lame, you’re lame, you’re silly, and you’re definitely not mean or  ferocious.  Did you see what Magnus Chase did to Loki when they had a fight? You’re going home negative but sometimes you have to go positive against someone that’s so-called mean or ferocious so let me tell you about some of my friends.  see I have Anette, she loves hedgehogs and she’s so happy, upbeat and amazing; she loves to play the violin, too.  Then I have Melanie. She’s kind, sweet, generous; in tears about anyone.  I also have Timothy. He loves reptiles which I think are pretty cool, even though I’m Hedgehog.  Timothy’s also kind  and caring. Then I have Sophia, even though she’s in a different school, she’a amazing, she’s always got your back, even when you’re doing stupid crazy things. I have Briza. She’s really nice and helping anyone she can and she forgets about herself sometimes cuz she’s so caught up in what other people need. I have Emily. She learned so much and she’s always there.  I have Caeley. She’s the happy upbeat girl in school who’s always positive.  Then I have Natalie. She’s a bit more negative but she’s a great friend for Caeley. 

R.C.: What you weren’t lying about is the shrinking, but an inch is an exaggeration. I am a centimeter, maybe even a millimeter. 

Heggie: well it is an inch for humans so I win because you stopped the insults and you are a milimeter so hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

R.C. Sniffle. Can I still be crazy now that I’m shrunken to a centimeter? Please say yes?

Heggie: no.